Pray! For it’s that time of the year again; when the smell
of coffee evokes an unfounded belief that my mind is onto something productive;
when the scattering of TBLS books and Xeroxed notes in my room invoke an eerie
feeling of sleeplessness and despair.
And, as I flipped through the pages of these unintelligible notes,
in pursuit of a ray of hope to sail me through, I couldn't help my mind from
flipping through the poignant memories of R-land. On another day, in another
semester, I would have refrained my mind from wandering. But, on this day and
for what it’s really worth, I let it sail.
I stepped outside and looked all around. The fresh air seemed stunning. The colors of the sky, through my color-blind eyes were more vibrant
than ever before. The crowds of people swarming the streets amazed me.
A simple conservation left me overwhelmed. Never before had I been so aware of the vibrancy of my surroundings.
Fleeting images made me laugh at myself; those little
conflicts which now seemed so trivial. “I am not perfect, and neither are my
friends, so why not make the most of it and pledge to forgive and forget?” Conflict
resolution was never easier
.
I guess the value of something is truly realized when it is
being taken away from you. All those unexpected yet random chapos; endless, existential
talks over bottomless cups of terrible coffee and the prized freedom from
monetary responsibility will soon seem a distant dream.
Everyday sights and sounds were coming at me like a
rainstorm. It seems difficult now to accept that only yesterday it was all so
easy to get caught up in everything else and lose sight of these experiences. I
certainly never appreciated the colors of R-land as I rushed to class every day.
A sudden thought then hurt me. This last semester, which was
to have run out so slowly, was running out fast, and to-morrow looked me in the
face more steadily than my quivering eyes dared look back. As these four months
had dwindled away, to three, to two and now one, I had suddenly become appreciative
of this place. Never before had I even considered expressing feelings of
gratitude to the IIT administration, for all their harassing and red-tapism.
But on this day, as the setting sun glazed the bright white dome of the main
building, and the same sun light up silhouettes of the babus rushing hurriedly
out of their offices, I shed a tear that painted a smile,” Thank You, for this
journey would never have otherwise been possible.”
I stood there, waiting for the light of day to solemnly
fade, as if to capture the moment and live in it forever. I had been so
innocent and little here and all beyond was so unknown and great. In a moment I
broke into tears, “Good-bye, oh my dear, dear friend!”
Charles Dickens had said, ‘Heaven knows we need never be
ashamed of our tears, for they are rain upon the blinding dust of the earth,
overlaying our hard hearts.’ I was better after I sobbed for I was sorrier,
more aware of my ingratitude and gentler
.
Pray then! For it is that time of the year again, but Alas! For
the very last time.
