Monday, 31 December 2012

PAPA's Word

Dear Life,
     
              Things are clearing. You have been uncertain, harsh, kind and benevolent all at the same time. How you manage to achieve such impossible feats is a thought that shall never cease to plague me. But, through all these uncertainties and situations you have always sprinkled essential wisdom that I consequently reflect on. You have been a good teacher. You have taught me that no matter what, the world is a beautiful place, it's always my vision that clouds the beauty. You have also taught me, that I am and will always be an eight year old within.

             Everybody has a little child within them, that they fervently battle to protect and conceal. They mask him and cloister him by learning skills and aptitudes to deal with the world that threatens to overwhelm him. Therefore, developing a secondary insecure outer covering of one self. When we meet people, it is this veneer we encounter, and it is the same veneer that suffocates 'meetings' and every day dealings. But, when the armor is broken, and the child is exposed, the real meaning of human contact is revealed. It's an intangible thing. And, it's a funny paradox that the child reveals itself only in the most wretched bouts of human suffering.

            I write this as an opportunity to thank you for premature wisdom, words I promise to treasure and sprinkle when need be.

Yours Faithfully     

Thursday, 27 December 2012

Faux Pas

A new Home in an unfamiliar land can be a rather lonely customer.Scorned at by the stray dogs of the land, even 'dust' thinks twice before visiting it, let alone taint its glazed exteriors.Naturally, visitors to such a home, if ever at all any, engender such an overwhelming feeling of elation in us, the unfortunate denizens, that we  impetuously over look the very purpose of their visit. Unfortunately, this can lead to, as it shortly will, an untowardly embarrassing situation and a wretched blog post with no purpose other than bringing celebrated infamy to all its' attendants.
A momentous day that was, when a peculiar sound disturbed the agonizing silence of our Home.
"Ch...Chirr...Chirrp..Chirrppp....Chirr..Ch".
"Ayyo!. There's a bird in the house. Run, run, go, open all the doors and windows." Not the sound, but the behest so started me, and shook me off my characteristic 'post-semester' state of dereliction, that I took off in every possible direction, releasing every door and window that lay on my path. Heedlessly, I went about the task, until the main door unleashed my sight to a vision that greatly puzzled me. Four specimens of the human race, decked to the extent of being offensively ostentatious, stood there beaming brightly at me. A fit of bewilderment, so gripped me, that I blinked profusely and slapped my head twice, much to the dismay of the animated figures in front of me. One of them, stood fiddling with the door-bell switch, when it rang, "Ch..Chirr..Chirrrp...Chirrppp..Chirr..Ch".
"We were just going to call, we thought your door-bell isn't working. By the way, Hulo! I am Doctor .... This is my wife..my daughter..and my son."
"Please come inside...have a seat. Ma, we have guests! It was the door-bell."
"Namaste, Namaste. Please have a seat, Tea? Coffee?."
"Tea. Thank you."
"Beta, be here for a while, I'll just get tea."

"My daughter... She has done journalism.. She is a good cook..She has no problem going abroad.", He said, and looked at me keenly as if to seek my approval. 'She' sat placidly, palms gently folded, in a state of coy deference.

"Maybe the both of you would like to speak to each other in private?".
"No!", I retorted, surprised by this rather unearthly suggestion.
Clearly taken aback by my sudden rebuke, the four of them looked fiercely at me, with an expression of mixed consternation and shame.

Just then.."Tringg...Tringg...Tringgg...", "Hulo!. Yes, this is doctor..... speaking...Hmmm....Oh! but, we thought we are already at your place..Ah! Yes, yes..I took the left...Ok..We'll be there in five minutes."
He put down his cell-phone and looked uneasily at me."Oh! A..aa.acutally we've come to the wrong place, thank you anyway, bye."
The four of them darted out of the house at such speed and in such stealth that they were gone in a blink.
Their faint voices could still be heard, "This way our daughter is never getting married.."
Mum almost dropped the tray on the table, and we couldn't help our laughter, the sound of which, we werre pretty sure was loud enough to reach and embarrass them further. Strangely, and rather insensitively, we just did not care.....

A momentous day that was, now an indelible impression in our minds, one that no bout of unceasing laughter can ever hope to justify.










Thursday, 29 November 2012

  Hope vs Despair

  A seed of pain , a seed of doubt;
  That sows within, and shatters you without;

  Nurtures itself on fallen weeds;
  Of loss, despair and naught deeds;

  A drop of condescence, a blessing in disguise;
  That sprouts the bud, now stands with pride.

  A sense of repletion, a sense found anew;
  Squeezed out of the soul of a heart once sinew;

  Consumes the insides and withers the outsides;
  Fetters the will, A will once free.

  A fight ensues, a battle of blood.
  The insurmountable enemy,
  now a tree with struts.

  With daggers of wisdom and swords of hope
  Besiege the tree, and shatter its trunk.

  A seed of hope; a seed of belief;
  Now sprouts within,
  and awakens the breath of life;
 
 

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Sunday, 18 November 2012

WHY?


I DON’T KNOW


“Click Clock… Tip Top….. Brrrrrr….. Hahahaha…”
 Sounds from the bright world outside as I sit inside my pigeon-hole in attempt to figure out the best fit to this impossible curve.
“Whooossshhhhh” …. That was the wind talking.
It’s funny, how inanimate objects come alive and become your best companions when with over two sleepless nights of incomprehensible jargon left unstirred.
“I wonder what the temperature is like outside”  
For some reason even my termite infested wall seems more interesting than the inevitably imminent.
“What if I just don’t study and go to the exams with an open mind. That’ll be the real test of my intelligence”…. A brilliant thought, maybe a little too brilliant. No. Let's see.
Hmmmmm...... This makes for a great debate between the two voices in my head.

Angelic conscience: A stream of ants, illuminated by the sunlight, jutting into my room and traversing in the most rhythmic of patterns reminds me of nature's inherent simplicity. How complicated we human beings have made it!. Life is Simple, only if we ever knew it.

Devilish Mind: No. Humans were born to defy laws. My very existence and the existence of all those around me is the result of an act of defiance. Had Adam and Eve been ever submissive to the laws of God, there’d be no humanity. And, perhaps, then life would be simple. Life may be Simple, but we will never know it. Of all the things God created, his most entertaining creation was the human being. He who defies laws, stomps the earth, and conquers the universe. God’s watching, and it’s fun. Trust Me!

My Verdict: So, my animosity is only natural. For, I want to defy laws. That’s what makes me human after all.

PS: As always, I succumb to the voice that most suits my convenience. Exams!, Here I come.

Thursday, 25 October 2012

Beauty within the Beast


Heb 13:2-“ Be not forgetful to entertain strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares.”


On a little hillock, beside a lively stream, overlooking a brightly-colored congregation of wooden cottages stood our large, proud, rose-colored bungalow. With gates as high as the heavens, the intimidating structure, over the years, had done well to keep uninvited visitors away. It was the fall of 2003 in Shillong, and like every fall, the skies had gotten greyer and gloomier, the winds had gotten stronger and chillier, and the trees had gotten barer and browner.

Every evening, from five to seven pm, Mum would entertain poor patients, and treat them for free in her little office attached to the house. Sometimes, I would peep through the window to see her patiently attending to all these terrible looking and withered people. I often wondered how she put up with all their exaggerated wincing.

“Must be a very depressing job to do” I used to think to myself. Perhaps, it was this thought that sub-consciously influenced me against taking up this profession.

One chilly October evening, as Mum was fixing supper, there was a sharp knock at the door. I opened it to see a truly awful looking man, “Why he’s hardly as tall as me” I thought as I stared at his stooped shriveled body. I had seen many a woeful looking patient, but none as appalling as this; his face, disfigured from swelling, his skin, rumpled and raw, his weak hands, pale and shivering.

“Good evening, Is Doctor Memsahib at home? I’ve come to get some treatment.” His voice was pleasant.
Mum was visibly tired that day, and it was already half past nine, so, I lied.

 “Doctor Memsahib is sleeping, Could you please come back tomorrow at five? I will tell her your name.”   
“I come from a village very far away; I took the bus this morning that unfortunately got delayed, I have been hunting for a room, but no one seems willing to offer me one. I guess it’s because of the way I look. Could you spare me a place to sleep for just one night; I will go back after treatment tomorrow.”
“Please wait, I’ll call Memsahib.”

Mum hesitated for a bit, then looking at his condition said, “We’ll get you a bed, but, you will have to sleep on the porch. I’ll treat you after supper; you can go back in the morning.”

I was understandably piqued by this unnecessary act of benevolence.

“You should take care of yourself too, you know.” I said to Mum.

After Mum had finished her treatment, I went out to speak with him for a few minutes. It didn't take me long to realize that this old man had an over-sized heart crowded into that tiny crippled body. He told me he was a farmer, and worked to support his widowed daughter, her four children, and his wife. He didn't say this by way of complaint. In fact, every other sentence was prefixed with a ‘thanks’ to God for a blessing. He was grateful to my mother for having given him treatment; he thanked God for giving him the strength and to keep him going to support his family.

When we got up in the morning, the bed-sheets were neatly folded and he was out on the porch. Just as he we leaving for the bus, benignantly, as if asking a favor, he said “Could I come back and stay the next time? I won’t put you out a bit; I’ll sleep on the chair.”

He paused a moment and then added, “Your son made me feel at home. Grownups are bothered by my appearance, but children don't seem to mind."

Mum said he was welcome again.

Over time, the tiny old man grew fond of me. Every time he came, he brought for us a basket of the most wonderful strawberries and peaches we had ever seen or tasted. During the following months, there was never a time that he did not bring strawberries and peaches. Knowing how little money he made, his gifts were doubly precious. He once told me of little white rabbits that he had in his farm, and I asked him to get one for me.

Unexpectedly, my father received his transfer orders to another place and we were to vacate the house in two weeks. We were sure of meeting him at least once before leaving, but, he never came. Mum informed the neighbours and left a note with them containing our new address and telephone number, hoping he would call. He never did.

Mum and I never forgot about him and we will always be grateful to have known him. “From Him”, Mum said, “We learned to accept the bad without complaint and the good with gratitude to God.”

Ten years hence, there was knock on our door. I opened it to find a young lady carrying a little white rabbit in a wooden basket. There was a note attached to the basket.

“I apologize for not being able to meet you before you left. Here is the rabbit you asked for. I shall always be grateful for all the help I received from you.”

The same day, Mum and I were sauntering about in our new garden. As she showed me the flowers, we came to the most beautiful one of all, a golden chrysanthemum, bursting with blooms. But to my great surprise, it was growing in an old dented, rusty bucket.

Shouldn't you put this in a better pot?”

"I ran short of pots," Mum explained," and knowing how beautiful this one would be, I thought it wouldn't mind starting out in this old pail. It's just for a little while, until I can put it out in the garden."

Mum and I laughed delightedly.


"Here's an especially beautiful one," God might have said when he came to the soul of the sweet old farmer. "He won't mind starting in this small body."




 


Tuesday, 2 October 2012

A Rendezvous with nostalgia

The following is a poem written by me in school; Something that, only recently, I was able to extract from the deepest trenches of my memory.
                                     

  Beauty

                                    
God came to me and said,
"I come to thee for a purpose,
which you shall serve as a must.
Look for the most beautiful thing in the world,
And bring it to me like you're carrying a pearl."

I looked at him and said,
"Give me three months time,
and I will have everything in line.
You will have what you desire,
And I will after which retire."

I looked into the sky,
I looked into the ocean;
I climbed the highest mountain,
and swam the darkest tide.
But, nothing did I find
that could be in line.

Three months passed and God appeared,
He eyed me and said,
"Why do you come empty-handed?
Did you not do what I demanded?
I asked for beauty,
and you've spent you're time wastefully."

I looked at him and said,
"Dear God, I have wasted three precious months,
I had found beauty, when you came down from the Sun.
It is you and only you that is beauty to me.
How long it took me to notice your superiority."

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

A Tryst with Blogging

                                                         

 A flickering beam of light interrupted my siesta and opened my eyes to a sea of white glistening homes. Still half asleep, I peered through the window to notice the houses below growing bigger as the faint voice of the air-hostess announced our arrival at Visakhapatnam. It’s been a while. Two months at a place like Roorkee is a very long time, with the inevitability of not just its inedible food and the gruelling summer heat, but all of life’s vagaries it puts you through. Nevertheless, it was a different, stronger ‘Me’, a changed, chastened person that left Roorkee at the conclusion of this semester. And now, with the solace of home harmonising discordant thoughts and poignant memories, I have mustered just about enough patience and courage to sit down and write this blog.
But, what makes it ever so difficult to pen down my thoughts has nothing to do with my inability to frame sentences, but with the fact that writing is, as Paulo Coelho said “Public nudity of the mind”. We all know the famous English saying “The pen is mightier than the sword”, and how I wish I could write to stir people’s minds. But ever wondered how much courage it takes to embrace your thoughts publicly?
An interesting train of thought, but not something a writer of my calibre would like to pursue in his or her writings, at least at such a tender writing age. So, allow me to save myself some public humiliation, and permit me to write about something more pleasant. But mind you, I still have complete authority to change my mind, when so ever I feel like.
 So, as I was already saying, before being tricked by my mind into digression, it’s been a fairly long time, and I’m awfully relieved to have finally seen home. Sometimes, the thought of home this way makes me feel like a soldier, fighting his battle in a foreign land. His life, marked by ephemeral returns to His humble dwelling, where bruised limbs and battered bones are mended, and the soldier is sent back again to face the harsh realities of existence, only to return once more, and the cycle goes on, till one day all His struggles yield him a Home of his own. And the seemingly unceasing cycle comes to an abrupt end.
For most of us, the image of home that we carry in our minds is one of permanence, as temples of redemption and emancipation which, regardless of the persistent demonic efforts by the vicissitudes of mortal existence remains untainted and unblemished by their influence.
It is therefore, in such a home that I finally seek refuge, amidst grave adversity and turmoil, hoping for its magical atonement to rid me off my wounded scars.
And, as the process of healing continues, I rest my case. Au revoir.
PS : Stay tuned.